2017 for me was, for a lack of another all encompassing term, a whirlwind, and judging by everyone else’s year-end reflections, many others felt the same. It was a year of intense highs and equally as intense lows. I experienced emotions I never knew I had the capability of feeling; I scrapped a lot of things I thought were true about myself and the world, and learned that I didn’t really know anything at all; I evolved mentally, physically, and spiritually, and I can feel it all changing again.
I’m not sure why I’ve been having such a hard time writing/creating my 2017 wrap up posts and videos. My heart feels sadness in letting go of what was an overall amazing year full of travel and personal growth, and it feels like once I put my resolutions out there my accountability begins, and honestly, the idea of a blank slate is exhausting to think about.
But alas, it’s a moo point. (*high five for Friends references*). The universe doesn’t favour dwelling on the past.
Digging for treasure
I was incredibly lucky and blessed by all the gods to be able to travel and explore so much in 2017. I went from the Philippines to Singapore to Los Angeles to Ottawa, and experienced so many magical moments that I’ll never ever ever forget (a photo wrap up post is coming soon!). The real magic, however, happened during the moments when I was home.
At the beginning of 2017, I was working retail nearly full time but it was just toxic to my soul; I was working way to hard at something I essentially hated for such a small return, and I knew that I couldn’t keep it up. After I came home from the Philippines in mid-February, I made the somewhat brash and irrational decision to not go back to a job I knew I hated, and so my freelance journey began… But that’s a story for another post.
The point is that moving to freelance gave me time to really dig deep into myself and figure out who I really am and what I really want. Do I want to keep writing? Taking photos? Designing? I know many people wonder the same but aren’t able to simply quit their jobs to find out, so I made sure not to take this opportunity lightly.
I learned more about myself this year than I have my entire life, but the truth is that I’m still not 100% sure of who I am, who I will be, and what I ultimately want, and that scares me so much… But I have reached the conclusion that I’ll probably never be sure, and that very fact makes this open ended story, much like the blank slate of a new year, kind of beautiful and exciting.
So, 2017 was the year of digging deep and finding the reasons why I love and want to keep creating. What’s 2018 going to be all about? I’ll tell you. 2018 will be the year of letting go of the things that are holding me back from reaching my full potential, including guilt, self-consciousness, doubt and comparison, and over consumption of social media.
As I come to the end of this post, I realize that it came out a little more emotional than I had intended (what else is new, lol), but that tends to happen when nostalgia hits. To that end, I’ll probably do another post outlining my actual, actionable resolutions soon!
In the meantime, I hope you’re all having an amazing start to the new year! I’m feeling good about 2018. How about you?